Robot Combat

Robot Wars Season 2 Recap

Robot Wars Series 2 New Host Craig Charles
The days before high-def

Robot Wars: The Second Coming. Season 2 Recap

And We’re Back!

Craig Charles, you cheeky bastard. Who knew you were a cog-head before hosting your ‘infamous’ funk & soul show on BBC Radio?! The new Commander in Chief definitely presented himself in a livelier manner than his predecessor.

But then again a cadaver might be more lively than Clarkson (Hey-Oh!).

What else was different coming in to Robot Wars season 2? Well, the arena grew some breasts over ‘summer break.’ Not literal breasts…more like underwent a revamping. Oh, and she got herself a new beau! Sir Killalot, the Second Wars’ addition to the house bot family, definitely unleveled the playing field. Is unleveled a word? It is now.

By the way, I’ve included a nifty little graphic of the paths to gauntlet salvation for your viewing pleasure… so, pleasure yourselves quickly and get on to the most memorable moments/machines of season 2.

Robot Wars_Series2_NewGuantlet_Infographic

The Best Bits

From the powerful to the powerless (ahem… Piece De Resistance), series 2 introduced us to a bunch of borderline mediocre bots and one lame duck (ahem… Piece De Resistance). You know what they say, first impressions are everything and most of these contraptions failed to leave a lasting mark — okay a few did, one in particular (ahem…Piece De Resistance…), although what he left was more like a bruise.

Sure, the Dratford Girls gave their male counterparts a run for their misogyny (Heat A), but the complete incompetence shown by one Piece De Resistance deserves an award…

And the Forest Gump Award Goes To…

The Forest Gump award honors a robot that tries really, really, hard, but just doesn’t quite “get it,” if you know what I mean. Think Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Or, better yet Clive Dancey, the UK’s own REAL 45-year-old virgin. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should really look him up. It’s a very ‘entertaining’ tale.

Anyhoo, this esteemed honor belongs to one bot and one bot only… Piece De Resistance, or as I lovingly call him, Piece of Shit (POS for short). This 2x 12-volt, 125 lb. snow plow couldn’t even knock down 1 fuckin’ barrel! Please, house bots… take him out of his misery?

Robot Wars Series 2 – Piece de Resistance – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.


Thanks, Matty. You always come through. Oh, you guys aren’t done?

Robot Wars Series 2 – Piece de Resistance on fire – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.


Sir Killalot, you slay me.

Back to Business

If you have any doubts about Robot Wars season 2, Chaos vs. Wheelosaurus will obliterate them (your doubts, that is)! While poor Wheelosaurus’ old ass gets tag-teamed in a corner, Dead Metal takes on Chaos in a hair-raising (well, metaphorically speaking) game of cat-n-mouse.

Check this out!

Robot Wars Series 2 – Chaos vs. Wheelosaurus – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.


Ease up guys! Weren’t you ever taught to respect your elders? I guess vultures really can smell weakness.

THE DOUCHE IS BACK!

Mortis and its 2 cockiest creators , Rob Knight and Arthur Chillcot, made their first reappearance in Heat C. Their team name: Random Violence Technologies? Douchey. Everything that comes out of their mouths? Douchey. This £10,000(+) seeded tank was hailed by many as the darling of Series 2, but there was always something about the operators that rubbed my hide raw. But hey, I guess as Chillcot the Beard says…

Robot Wars Series 2 – Cocky Roboteers – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.


Did they win the heat? Yeah…unfortunately. But did they win the semi-final against Panic Attack? Heck no!

Side note: Chris Sorsby and Series 2 addition Ben Impey don’t appear all that cocky. Matter of fact, they don’t really appear on-screen at all….

Note that the Plunderbird 2 team, the International Wreck Crew, also rank highly on the Douche-o-meter, but I can only take so much douche at once.

Plunderbird_team

I should also mention the twirlers… There were a couple bots — Spin Doctor (Heat E) and Whirling Dervish (Heat F) — that introduced us to the effectiveness of spinning like little girls in pretty princess dresses (wheeeeeeee!). While none took home the gold, they did teach us that a tight turning ratio is instrumental, defensively speaking.

Series Semi-Finals

There was no greater moment in this season’s semi-finals than Cassius flipping the script! All was thought lost as the Knight of Knuckle bore down on Cassius and turned him wig-side. But alas! The operators strategically utilized the bot’s flipping ram (CO2 powered, I might add) to reverse the hands of fate. I, for one, was made giddy with delight.

Robot Wars Series 2 – Cassius Backflip – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.

Grand Final

With more episodes (a lot more…) came more competitors. The influx of robots forced a Grand Finals restructure that, needless to say, got a little confusing and a little less exciting…. Lucky for you, I’ve included another graphic! Here’s to hopin’ it makes more sense than if I were to explain it via the written word.

Robot Wars Series 2 Grand Final Infographic

As you can see, there wasn’t a melee bout like last season…. I WANT MY MELEE!! And, what the eff is a Playoff round anyway?!?

All hail..

Panic Attack, the Second Wars Grand Champion! The arachnid-sportin’ 750-watt box won by forklifting its opponents with its 12’ spikes and tossing them unceremoniously on their backsides. Not to mention a rivalry created with Shunt (Heat F Sumo match & Grand Finals), the surly house bot who apparently holds grudges.

Besides being humble philanthropists (their appearance on the show actually raised money for a charity), Panic Attack creators Kim Davies, Kevin Pritchard, and Lee Wicombe demonstrated a keen sense of strategy and adaptability throughout the games. Here’s a little snippet of their final go!

Robot Wars Series 2 – Grand Final – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.

BEAST ALERT!!!

I know this segment should technically be reserved for the contestants, buuuuut… Sir Kill is a MURDERER! Not the bad kind, either. This 1,144 lb. beauty brings a tear to my eye and a flair to the games. You need evidence? Check these out.

The Knight of Annihilation picks up Ramses II, carries his ass over to a flaming pit, and slow roasts that sow!

Robot Wars Series 2 – BAAARBEEQUUU – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.


Dreadnaught has already been immobilized, and yet Sir Kill feels the need to hammer that final nail in the coffin!

Robot Wars Series 2 – Ghastly blow on Dreadnought – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.

The Comeback Kid

Much like Hugh Grant came back from his ‘park-n-plow’ (well, oral plow anyway) scandal back in 2009, Killertron made a valiant effort in the Second Wars making it all the way to the Grand Final. No longer pink and innocent, the now orange wheelie bin lid sported a much stronger pick-axe, but still lacked a bit of something. Control maybe? Not sure, but man, could that bucket-o-bolts take a beating!

Robot Wars Series 2 – Killertron takes a beating – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.

The Disappointment

The biggest letdown? Razer. This bot was built to last. Or so we thought. It’s hydraulic crushing arm was a beautifully constructed appendage. Its ability to slowly rip an opponent’s steel spine from its chassis? Menacing. Unfortunately, Razer proved more fuddy duddy than foe in its Heat D face-off against Inquisitor.

Robot Wars Series 2 – Inquisitor vs Razer upset – Streamable

Check out this video on Streamable using your phone, tablet or desktop.

Final Thoughts

This season’s take-away? Bar-b-ques are the best! There’s nothing like a slow roasted bot to take your mind off the endless drudgery that is life. Until I get a charbroiling compilation created for you, this vid of The King being shish-kabobbed will have to do.

Robot Wars Series 2 certainly didn’t disappoint.

If anything, it jacked up the level of competition, introduced a shiny new arena outfit, and reinforced the need to further binge watch — which I will be doing with the next season here shortly.

The ingenuity exhibited by this season’s operators and the boundary-pushing done by the show’s producers give this cog-head hope that the Third Wars will tickle my fancy bits in all the right ways. I’m talking about my brain, you pervs.

I almost forgot… your series 3 prediction. There’s one caveat, from now on I shall call it Fortune Cookie and it shall be in riddle form!

Fortune Cookie: One might see in season 3 the ‘disorderly’ return for victory. Figure THAT shit out.

Side note: If you do figure it out and you’re the first to comment correctly, I might just mention you in my series 3 recap, “The Proof’s in the Payload,” coming soon.

Comments

Trending Popular

To Top